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April 02

It was Richie's funeral on Friday. I stood at the front of the church staring down at his coffin, willing the lid to break open and for him to jump out and tell me it was all one big sick joke.. but he didn't. The last time Richie was in that church (probably any church really) was the day I got married.. I remember walking down the aisle with my Dad.. I had a last minute case of the jitters and felt like legging it back up the aisle and out the door.. then I saw Richie standing there watching me and as I caught his eye he gave me a wink.. and all my jitters disappeared. I wish he would wink at me again..

I found some photos of us.. everyone of them he's smiling some stoopid cheesy grin.. he liked it best when I pulled a "mongy" face.. as he called it. He's gone forever now.. buried in the ground next to his Mum and his Dad.. I feel sick when I think about him lying there in a wooden box.. its not fair.. he didn't need to die.. he shouldn't have died.

Yesterday I went to his flat and attempted to sort through some of his things. I didn't go alone which was nice, but it was still very difficult to do. Sad thing was there was a box in the hall with my name on.. some stuff he'd put together for me a few weeks ago that he told me I could have. He said he'd drop it into my house next time he was home..

Thank you all for the lovely comments.

I feel a bit better today.. actually started laughing again.

5:58 PM | Blog it

Comments (9)

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	Stephanie S.wrote: Just checking on you. You didn't post the photos of you and Richie. I wish you would. BIG HUGS, Steph June 4
	m. stormwrote: Sorry to hear about this Silver Hang in there and look foward whilst never forgetting the past Storm............. Apr. 26
	Rojer Martinwrote: Hey, is it that Richie "Twisted Corneflake" who has died? Mar. 30
	Rojer Martinwrote: Silver let me have a photo of you Rojer Mar. 30
	Suziwrote: WoW i found your blog very touching and read it with tears in my eyes such a moving read .. I noticed you havent been on your blogg for ages so i dont know if you still keep it up .. Like to think you are happy in your life and that your busy living it to the full .. tc luff Suzi xxx Jan. 22
	Stephanie S.wrote: Hi Silver! He's not gone forever ya know. Anyone who loved you that much and was around for so long, will still be with you. He's probably been given a job of being your guardian angel. You will see him again, some day. Think of all the fun times, special things, and laughter. I'd love to see those photos if you ever get a chance to post them. I'm so glad you were there for him in the end. I'm sure it made him feel better, calmer, and loved. BIG HUGS, Steph Oct. 15
	garywrote: hi poppet...the girls below have said it all.. the sad bit is nearly past...time to start thinking of richie and smiling about the good times...and the times when he pissed you off... he allways had that big cheesy grin ready for you...time to start enjoying his memory.. take care xx gary.. Apr. 4
	gloria wyatt-williamswrote: Hi Silv,glad to hear the funeral went as well as could be exspected. You have shown how strong you are and how much strength you have. To go through all this heartache, and still come out of it in one piece shows, how really strong and brave you . Richie would be proud of you. Take care and best wishes to you. Glo... Apr. 4
	Louisewrote: One step at a time babe you're doing good ya know, glad youre feeling a bit better about things. Live a lot, laugh and lot and love a lot. (((BIG HUGS))) and bright blessings xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Apr. 2

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